You're my little dorito
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
