im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
