nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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