I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
