we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
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im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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