you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
