So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Porn is love you can see.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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