I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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