i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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