So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
