I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
