Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
