My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
