My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
