I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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