if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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