In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
