How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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