Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I believe in your delicious
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
