Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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