party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize