I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
