maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
