He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
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mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize