I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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