did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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