Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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