I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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