if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I did not marry a roomba.
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