Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
