Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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