i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
