i permit you to call me
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
