Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
