You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
