Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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