your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize