then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
