Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
