She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
