do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
