I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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