i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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