At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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