so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
apparently the secret to your success is patron
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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