You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
