that's an acceptable place to lick
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
