ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
