he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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