Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
