In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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