id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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