So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
