I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
