ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
