three words: i give head
three words: not that well
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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