im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
