anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
