Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
