We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
